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Virginia Heslinga's avatar

I hear it. I feel guilt. I confess I feel safer as a giver.

Pete Hamm's avatar

Virginia, that sentence — I feel safer as a giver — may be the clearest summary of what this entire project is trying to name that anyone has written. You have just described, from the inside, the precise distinction between charity and restitution. Giving keeps the distance manageable. Owing removes the option of distance entirely. The fact that giving feels safer is not a character flaw. It is what seventeen centuries of formation produces. The tradition’s most honest response to that feeling is not guilt — guilt is still about the self — but the question you are already sitting with: safer than what, exactly? And what would it cost to be less safe?

Virginia Heslinga's avatar

Ah, such a reply provokes much more self-reflection. Thank you?